Thursday, July 24, 2008

And what do you have to say for yourself?

We have seen much on our journey, from awe-inspiring sites to animal cruelty to family feasts to devastating poverty to overwhelming hospitality. After many serious (sometimes not-so-serious) discussions about what we will tell people and it has come down to one thing from which all else erupts-

If our story has to end in a moral it is this: the good in the world greatly outweighs the bad. Faith in that is the best that we can succinctly believe in, assert and encourage. It is the best truth that we can bring home from our adventure around the world.

So until next time, as two great fellow travellers once said:

BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER
AND
PARTY ON, DUDES!

6 months and 1 day later

When Leigh and Genna get off the plane the smell of Pizza Hut rolls out from the corridor. Foam footed people loaf around, a croc for every man, woman and child. The most common "designer" bag is Timbuk2. Not one person is visibly smoking a cigarette (or any other rolled substance for that matter). And, despite the junk this trip has packed into their already round trunks, they are, for once, two of the smaller women in sight. This must be the U.S. of A.


When the biographic movie comes out this would be the point where you get a video montage down memory lane. Cue the music, a little bit alty but not too sappy, perhaps some Dusty Springfield.


Srinagar, Kashmir - Leigh and Genna huddle around a bucket filled with delicious embers as snow falls on the silently frozen Dal Lake. Later that week the girls make friends with some fine young men and a little tike named Ruman. To the tune of the most captivating call to prayer, they try not to cause too much trouble...aside from almost running into that frantic white horse while driving the Deluxe Ambassador. Oops.


Cherrapunjee, Meghalaya India - The rain pours down and despite what nice coverage the elephant ear banana leaf provides they will be soaked upon returning to the little Khasi village where a diminutive and kind woman waits with tea and biscuits.


Nairobi, Kenya - The airport is their holding tank but their money is worthless. The girls curl up under KenyaAir blankets while civil strife wages outside in the city.


Doha, Qatar - A nice nap on a not so nice floor and several rounds through the enormous duty free mall is all these girls get to know about the small nation in Southwest Asia. Which leaves them wondering, how did Qatar Airways master the art of incredible airline food?


M'Hamid, Morocco -Leigh wanders the cool sands after a late night trip to the "outhouse" ends in confusion. As she mounts one dune after another, arriving at each tree only to realize that this is not where her tent is pitched, terror informs her that there might just be a black hole in this desert. Meanwhile Genna busies herself preparing the meanest American style spaghetti this desert has ever seen. Mohammed, the chamellier (camel man) and Humza (guide, AKA "The Eyes") are dually impressed.


Salamanca, Spain - The girls pulse to the surprisingly infectious sounds of the man spinning the records. Above them the black night provides a backdrop against which the glowing inflated tentacles look their most menacing. No matter, just keep dancing...til 6:30 AM!


Anadia, Portugal - At the back of the Free, Informative and Artistic Bairrada Wine Museum Leigh and Genna break out their most gourmet dinner so far: tuna fish mixed with corn and red peppers and a jar of garbonzo beans. They make a messy mixture and look across the School of Viticulture's grape vines that surround the sunny building. Later some rabble rousing Portuguese men will win them over on roast suckling pig (leitao) and the unrivaled pinch of the Baga grape's red tinto. These carousers will also convince them that it might be better to spend the night in the car rather than a "free" homestay.


Vienna, Austria - Genna dines on a perfect soft boiled egg served up on one of those fancy egg thingies. Meanwhile, Leigh should know better than to order a bowl of valhrona hot chocolate after she has already polished off a tasty tart au citron. That's ok, they'll get their exercise playing giant sized Foosball at the Eurocup Park in downtown Vienna. GO SPAIN!!!


Kokino, Macedonia - A hippie with a braid trailing out from his tussled head chugs at least a liter of beer before the arrival to one astronomically important bed of celestial knowledge. As it turns out, his English is nearly flawless after the third beer and several hours later the two girls know just about everything about the 4th greatest ancient observatory in the world. Remarkably, the tie dye wearing grunger also has catalogued knowledge on the fabulous frescoes that are preserved in an old orthodox church nearby. Did you know that the frescoes on church walls are always painted in three levels with each level containing a certain theme? And you can see it personally if you happen to come upon a hidden, unlocked old church late at night with an archaeologist.


Sofia, Bulgaria - Leigh and Genna, after once being ripped off by Bulgarian money exchanger, decide they can walk to the center of the city in the 90 Degree heat with their packs. While the view of the old Communist buildings and beautiful cobbled roads is unrivaled, the heat makes a rest in the very popular central park necessary. An abandoned cucumber now rests there in their memory. At the airport, they pile into a bus with the rest of the lemmings, wait for five minutes for the stragglers to get it and then feel like idiots when the bus carts them the whole fifty meters from the terminal to the airplane.


Amsterdam, Netherlands - Leigh gets a quick lesson from the guy at Homegrown Fantasy who also makes a great cappuccino. Again, Genna wants salty and Leigh craves sweet. The girls decide that when Asians and decriminalized marijuana get together their is an automatic symbiotic market. Which came first the marijuana or the Chinese food?


Montage fade out.

Leigh and Genna, are warned that they may not be allowed onto the plane unless they are dressed appropriately for business class. Strung out and a little stinky the girls change into a compilation of new clothes with a double layer of disintegrating deodorant in hopes that they can fool the friendly KLM staff, who indirectly but ruthlessly interogates them about drug smuggling- "do you have anything on you that you shouldn't have?".

Booya.

On the biography the music crescendos while a smellier, wiser and chunkier pair walks right on through customs, beaming as they make their way to their Rocky Mountain home. The audience might even get a little teary eyed, or a little annoyed.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Not much time yet...

As we have but one day left in the temperamental weathered Netherlands we will leave the details for later. But for now, what are we gonna jump on when we get home?:

Genna: Happy Hours. I want to be out by 5, drunk by 7 and in bed by 9.

Leigh: Planet Earth (English version), on someone else's HD TV of course.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

50 Euros 30 minutes

Coming from the red light district in Utrecht Genna and Leigh have developed a few crucial questions about the minivan driving soccer dads and the scantily clad whip wielding women:

1. Are they flat rates or are prices negotiated based on the customer vs. lady of the night?
2. Who exactly wields the dildos in the window?
3. What is in that sandwich she seems to be enjoying so much in the window?

But really, Genna and Leigh have been cruising the red light district wondering whether it would be allowed to pay our way into an interview with one of these fine ladies. And yes, they are smokin' hot.

As for what makes us smokin' hot (under the collar) for home:

1. Leigh: King Soop's and the array of 24 hour awesomeness that reigns for Colorado munchers such as herself.
2. Genna: Screw the supermarket - Delivery. Be this pizza, chinese, or cookies and milk. She can get anything she wants when she wants, and brought right to my door.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Pance Part Deux

This countdown to home is brought to you by Pance's pants which Genna and Leigh are both lounging in due to the unkindly forecasts in rainy Utrecht.

Genna: Cannot wait to watch crappy movies in the middle of the afternoon at her mother's house where no one will make fun of her for watching Love Actually in the middle of July (did you know that she saw Titanic 7 times in the theatre).

Leigh: On a day like today Leigh cannot wait to get back to overhead instant hot water showers... even the really shitty low flow kind.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Sadly Saying Goodbye to...

Goodbye enterprising gypsies recycling bottles with their horse drawn carriages. Goodbye old men drinking rakja at any hour of the day next to Pance's apartment. Goodbye our favorite one of Skopje's 20,000 stray dogs: the one with the bat-dog ears and Ewok face (he's the smallest of the pack but the king of the neighborhood). Goodbye fruit that dribbles just the right amount. Goodbye Lupjco popping peas in nothing but his underwear. Goodbye 80 year old grandma milking a goat to serve us milk and honey on a hungover morning. Goodbye Fast Food 7 and their highly efficient french fry piling system. Goodbye shopska salad (only to be considered shopska if it has peppers AND onions in addition the basic cucumbers, tomatoes and the cheese we purchase by asking, "shopska cheese?"). Goodbye hearing bravo as it was meant to be said. Goodbye afternoon ice cream and boza, that pre-beer yeasty mystery. Goodbye to rakja and those boys who are crazy enough to spike their beer with it. Goodbye gypsy children with their sun-tanned skin and ember eyes bathing in the river (or the awesome public water fountains). Goodbye our favorite geeky (but smokin' hot) couple. Goodbye Nescafe ladno that is never as ladno as you'd like. Goodbye Ayjvar - that delicious red pepper goop that simply must be homemade. Goodbye occasional and nostalgic squat toilet. Goodbye Kafana food and trying to order it without translators. Goodbye tomatoes the size of oxes' hearts (don't worry, they're biologic). Goodbye spaghetti-armed women outfitted in dresses that should be shirts and heels that could be lethal weapons. Goodbye 22 year old boy, who despite having bruises from his last run-in with the cops, cleans up your apartment quiet as a mouse while you sleep off your drunkenness. Goodbye homemade juice. Goodbye an entire country of people who leap to pay the bill. Goodbye people who will not hesitate to find your Turkish coffee (a mainstay in any house) and make it for you. Goodbye smoking cigarettes where it will not get you condemned to social hell. Goodbye radiant girl who is willing to track down a car, driver, archaeologist and smorgasbord of beer and snacks to watch the sunset over NASA's 4th finest. Goodbye to Macedonia and all the friends that have made it the beautiful, fun, hospitable and f*^$ing hot place it is - we will never forget you!

Count down to home cont...

Leigh: Cannot wait to get some real bean coffee e.g. a latte with microfoam and some free-pour latte art, a cappuccino that follows the rule of thirds and does not come with a wad of hydrogenated soy coagulate atop it, a macchiato with a dollop of foam, an iced toddy made from real fresh-roasted (and dare I say Conscious Coffee) beans, and most of all a thick, heavy raw-milk breve.



Genna: Her vibrator (no further explanation necessary).