A recent realization we made while drinking beers in the park, is that while Macedonians truly know how to have a good time (and to much better music), it seems that, compared with Americans, they spread their fun in thinner layers. Just like our preferred way of consuming dairy, plopping tablespoons of butter atop all-American pancakes, we Americans try to consume a vast quantity of alcohol between the hours of 10 and 2 after which we all pass out and swear off that sort of fun for another 3 to 5 days.
Macedonians, however, shred reasonable amounts of fresh cheese atop cucumber and tomato shopska salads. They also drink from 9 at night until 6 in the morning, talking, dancing, drinking then talking some more and loitering until one strung-out person deigns to part ways for a limited 3 hours of dozing until work the very same day. The next day they do it again.
So it seems, as might be characteristic in many ways that we live, we condense our fun into little pockets of binge fun, while Macedonians spread theirs thin and long. We wonder, what's better: the inclined plane or the vertical jump? Take your pick.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Countdown to home cont.
Leigh: Cannot wait to fill a cup up with ice and pour a beverage over it. Did you know that makes it cold?
Genna: Wants to plug into her ipod, put it on shuffle and rock out with her c*&#k out.
Genna: Wants to plug into her ipod, put it on shuffle and rock out with her c*&#k out.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Countdown to Home
Horizon's a comin' and Genna and Leigh would like to let all of you know the things that we absolutely fantasize about on a daily basis as that fateful day approaches. So, for the rest of our journey we thought we might clue you in daily on those things we just cannot wait to get our hands, tongues, eyes, ears or netherregions involved with.
1. Genna --> Big Spacious Roomy Wooden Cutting Boards: I am going to chop, slice and mince everything I can get my hands on.
1. Leigh --> Cracked Pepper: Oh baby, what it will feel like to get my hands on that grinder and feel the kernels crunch beneat my grip. This is closely followed by the gritty feeling of sea salt between my fingers.
1. Genna --> Big Spacious Roomy Wooden Cutting Boards: I am going to chop, slice and mince everything I can get my hands on.
1. Leigh --> Cracked Pepper: Oh baby, what it will feel like to get my hands on that grinder and feel the kernels crunch beneat my grip. This is closely followed by the gritty feeling of sea salt between my fingers.
The More You Know...(* <--shooting star)
Did you know that Barak Obama supports Greece in their veto over Macedonia's attempts to join the EU despite the fact that Macedonia has changed its name to the F.Y.R.O.M., does not make a territorial claim to any part in Greece, and has changed its flag from the Vergina Sun to look more like a vent. All this to please a country that is acting like a child who has a toy it refuses to play with but refuses to let anyone else play with it either. (enter the more you know musical diddy - da da da da)
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Much ado on pictures...
Did you know that Macedonia has the 4th most important ancient observatory as ranked by NASA. Now let's get back to that plastic liter of beer.
Tina and Leigh get funky at Hard Rock.. We danced until dawn, literally. Tina's dormant moves were just waiting to be expressed.
This is the second time we have had a very legitimate opportunity to take an American Gothic photo. But check out those authentic pitchforks.
This is probably an 8th of what we collected in one weekend. Probably the only time a raspberry pie became a financially feasible option. Just don't tell anyone here that you have made an "American Pie" or they may want to "plug something in it."
Fun with the family in the apricot orchards. Until that bee decided it had more right to the territory than Leigh did.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
How to Brace Yourself for Macedonia
Macedonia is a beautiful country where Genna and Leigh feel very much at home. However, as in any foreign land, there are some things that one must grow accustomed to coming from a nation such as our own.
1. Invariably, upon arriving at a house, apartment, or party you will be asked if you have had Rakia, or Macedonian moonshine. Even if the answer is, "Yes, and I think it tastes like nail polish remover." The host's homemade version is insistently superior than the last 4 homemade versions you have had to choke down. The host will then pour you a "small" serving of the puissant distillation, but not one for his or herself. When asked why the host will not have a glass as well the reply comes, "No, it is too strong." They will also probably warn you that, as it is the middle of the day, you probably should not go outside in the "50 degree" (roughly 122 ferenheit) heat for a few hours because you might pass out.
And down the hatch it goes. Apparently a fabulous salad accompaniment.
2. Make 1 friend in Macedonia and you immediately have 15, including a nightlife scene, a a swimming companion, a burek-eating buddy, a hairdresser, an archeologist tour guide, and a pilades partner.
3. As per #2 if you need anything in Macedonia (be it brown sugar and oats or a phone, dvd player, laptop or car and chauffuer) you got it - front door delivery from friend #6's cousin's sister who has passed it down the grapevine and hauled it across town right up to your buzzer.
4. This is an important one: They are right. You are wrong. Period.
Examples:
a) Despite the fact that the citizens in Skopje constantly tell you Serbian words when asked for the names of things (ie. ice, never), the city's language in NO WAY has a Serbian influence or uses any Serbian words.
b) Hot feet or other body parts on a cold tile floor WILL kill you - so will swimming in the lake, watching a thunderstorm from a porch, or leaving the door or window open for a summer breeze to pass through --> BEWARE THE PROMIA (this may sound like and be treated as a medieval monster but it is, in fact, just a draft).
c) Despite the 20th annual report of the California Research Advisory Panel (1990) (see http://druglibrary.org/schaffer) and the giant bold SMOKING KILLS advisory on the outside of all packs, 2 packs of cigarettes a day is healthier than smoking 2 joints a day. (P.S. And no, they are not addicted to cigarettes, they just like to smoke them in chains morning til night, but they can stop whenever they want.)
d) The car will not start and the engine will not even attempt to turn over.
Genna and Leigh listen and comment, "It sounds like an electrical problem; we should try to push start the car and throw it into first to get it started."
Silly Americans, they think, we will wait for the taxi driver to come back and help us. Ten minutes later the taxi driver arrives. After several minutes of trying to start the car he explains the process of push starting the car which we then do, successfully.
Genna and Leigh then warn, "Do not stop the car, or park it at the top of a hill if we must, until we have a chance to fix the problem."
Again, silly girls.
Oh what's that Mr. Taxi Driver?
Right, we shouldn't stop the car, or we should park it on a hill if we must.
5. Macedonian club music, whether it be trance, house or American is ALWAYS better than American club music.
6. Despite the fact that scantily clad women abound and are clearly better looking than their male counterparts, you will be treated with respect. If you are coming from a country such as India or Morocco you may find this lack of harassment extremely odd and even unsettling.
7. It is NOT possible to get sick of fresh tomato cucumber salads topped with cheese and it IS possible to eat a kilo of cherries or peaches every day for a week (and for less than 1 euro a day).
8. Yes, their veggies and fruits ARE delicious, but beware, you may get tired of being lectured on how your food tastes like plastic while everything they eat is "biologic" [as said lecturer flicks his cigarette into the mountain stream where you fill your water bottles].
9. The first thing that will happen to you when you walk into someone's house is that you will be offered food. Too full, you don't need to eat? With a perplexed and offended look on their face, they will ask you accusatorily "why not?" And so, sick with food already, you eat more. The second thing that happens...
"All Americans so fat!"
10. The clutches of kindness in which we have been seized are, at times, overwhelming. But without the wonderful Macedonians, who all think that their country is equally rich in culture, history and F@#%ing UNESCO sites (including 365 churches - one for every day of the year) , we would be lost, tired, hungry, dirty and probably sleeping in a car somewhere in Europe. We cannot express how much we love them, and are surprised by how much they seem to love us.
1. Invariably, upon arriving at a house, apartment, or party you will be asked if you have had Rakia, or Macedonian moonshine. Even if the answer is, "Yes, and I think it tastes like nail polish remover." The host's homemade version is insistently superior than the last 4 homemade versions you have had to choke down. The host will then pour you a "small" serving of the puissant distillation, but not one for his or herself. When asked why the host will not have a glass as well the reply comes, "No, it is too strong." They will also probably warn you that, as it is the middle of the day, you probably should not go outside in the "50 degree" (roughly 122 ferenheit) heat for a few hours because you might pass out.
And down the hatch it goes. Apparently a fabulous salad accompaniment.
2. Make 1 friend in Macedonia and you immediately have 15, including a nightlife scene, a a swimming companion, a burek-eating buddy, a hairdresser, an archeologist tour guide, and a pilades partner.
3. As per #2 if you need anything in Macedonia (be it brown sugar and oats or a phone, dvd player, laptop or car and chauffuer) you got it - front door delivery from friend #6's cousin's sister who has passed it down the grapevine and hauled it across town right up to your buzzer.
4. This is an important one: They are right. You are wrong. Period.
Examples:
a) Despite the fact that the citizens in Skopje constantly tell you Serbian words when asked for the names of things (ie. ice, never), the city's language in NO WAY has a Serbian influence or uses any Serbian words.
b) Hot feet or other body parts on a cold tile floor WILL kill you - so will swimming in the lake, watching a thunderstorm from a porch, or leaving the door or window open for a summer breeze to pass through --> BEWARE THE PROMIA (this may sound like and be treated as a medieval monster but it is, in fact, just a draft).
c) Despite the 20th annual report of the California Research Advisory Panel (1990) (see http://druglibrary.org/schaffer) and the giant bold SMOKING KILLS advisory on the outside of all packs, 2 packs of cigarettes a day is healthier than smoking 2 joints a day. (P.S. And no, they are not addicted to cigarettes, they just like to smoke them in chains morning til night, but they can stop whenever they want.)
d) The car will not start and the engine will not even attempt to turn over.
Genna and Leigh listen and comment, "It sounds like an electrical problem; we should try to push start the car and throw it into first to get it started."
Silly Americans, they think, we will wait for the taxi driver to come back and help us. Ten minutes later the taxi driver arrives. After several minutes of trying to start the car he explains the process of push starting the car which we then do, successfully.
Genna and Leigh then warn, "Do not stop the car, or park it at the top of a hill if we must, until we have a chance to fix the problem."
Again, silly girls.
Oh what's that Mr. Taxi Driver?
Right, we shouldn't stop the car, or we should park it on a hill if we must.
5. Macedonian club music, whether it be trance, house or American is ALWAYS better than American club music.
6. Despite the fact that scantily clad women abound and are clearly better looking than their male counterparts, you will be treated with respect. If you are coming from a country such as India or Morocco you may find this lack of harassment extremely odd and even unsettling.
7. It is NOT possible to get sick of fresh tomato cucumber salads topped with cheese and it IS possible to eat a kilo of cherries or peaches every day for a week (and for less than 1 euro a day).
8. Yes, their veggies and fruits ARE delicious, but beware, you may get tired of being lectured on how your food tastes like plastic while everything they eat is "biologic" [as said lecturer flicks his cigarette into the mountain stream where you fill your water bottles].
9. The first thing that will happen to you when you walk into someone's house is that you will be offered food. Too full, you don't need to eat? With a perplexed and offended look on their face, they will ask you accusatorily "why not?" And so, sick with food already, you eat more. The second thing that happens...
"All Americans so fat!"
10. The clutches of kindness in which we have been seized are, at times, overwhelming. But without the wonderful Macedonians, who all think that their country is equally rich in culture, history and F@#%ing UNESCO sites (including 365 churches - one for every day of the year) , we would be lost, tired, hungry, dirty and probably sleeping in a car somewhere in Europe. We cannot express how much we love them, and are surprised by how much they seem to love us.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Homemade
Leigh's eye is almost swollen shut where a delicious looking bubble has shoved my cheek up into what used to be my eye socket. On the other hand, Genna and Leigh have dazzled the world with our superior cobbler and crumble making skills, possess two bottles of dense syrupy fruit juice and have a bucket full of apricots to dry over the course of the next week. Was it worth it to threaten the bee box in dangerous proximity to the sweet nectars of the farm? Damn right it was!
It all started when we, incidentally, went to see a man about a bee. And it all ended hungover in a raspberry bush at 8:30 in the morning...
It all started when we, incidentally, went to see a man about a bee. And it all ended hungover in a raspberry bush at 8:30 in the morning...
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