10 Things I Learned on a Farm

1. If it looks like shit and it smells like shit, it's probably shit (and yes, that is what the geriatric people call it too:mierda).
2. There is a similarity among us womenfolk: not all nipples are alike. They are as varied in size as they are in color, shape and production (Just ask Carmelia who has one extra dwarfed one on the lower left side).
3. Waterproof Wellingtons are only Waterproof Wellingtons if the are not torn at the ankle bend. Otherwise they are just shit socks.
4. Fat is a food group, and an expansive one at that. A well balanced Catalan meal includes a smattering of lard-fried meat, salt cured pig fat, cheese (milk fat), and a lovely salad drenched in olive oil (olive fat).
5. No. You DO NOT want to know what happened to the kittens(unless you are Leigh and kind of want of see how they do it).
6. If it looks like mud and it smells like mud, it's probably shit.
7. You can get along fine on a Spanish farm as long as you know the following words: mierda (shit), pala (shovel), paja (hay), cuidado (careful), vaca (cow) and caretilla (wheelbarrow).
8. Wine and chocolate are both acceptable breakfast foods.
9A. You are not, in fact, stronger than that 1/2 ton animal; you will have to outsmart it.
9B. You are not, in fact, smarter than that 1/2 ton animal; you will have to get this stick.
10. All species agree: cereal is delicious.