Wednesday, May 28, 2008

One camera down, one to go.

Alas, Leigh has unsurprisingly lost a camera. That's about 1001 food pics gone to waste. And so it is we realize that we have been jilting you all on photos. Here's some farm fun to make up for it.


Leigh finds two eggs in the barn and is wicked excited to show her treasure to Tia, who will probably make some sort of amazing frittata out of it. One that will blow America´s pathetic egg sandwich version of an omelet out of the water.





We helped to make this cheese. From cow to curd to delicious moldy goodness, we were in on it.






The family from left to right: Jaime, Florinda, Josep and Tia.








The farmhouse. People pay tons on money to honeymoon in rustic places like this. Instead, we paid in bruises and very dirty clothes.





Triumphant.

10 Things I Learned on a Farm

1. If it looks like shit and it smells like shit, it's probably shit (and yes, that is what the geriatric people call it too:mierda).
2. There is a similarity among us womenfolk: not all nipples are alike. They are as varied in size as they are in color, shape and production (Just ask Carmelia who has one extra dwarfed one on the lower left side).
3. Waterproof Wellingtons are only Waterproof Wellingtons if the are not torn at the ankle bend. Otherwise they are just shit socks.
4. Fat is a food group, and an expansive one at that. A well balanced Catalan meal includes a smattering of lard-fried meat, salt cured pig fat, cheese (milk fat), and a lovely salad drenched in olive oil (olive fat).
5. No. You DO NOT want to know what happened to the kittens(unless you are Leigh and kind of want of see how they do it).
6. If it looks like mud and it smells like mud, it's probably shit.
7. You can get along fine on a Spanish farm as long as you know the following words: mierda (shit), pala (shovel), paja (hay), cuidado (careful), vaca (cow) and caretilla (wheelbarrow).
8. Wine and chocolate are both acceptable breakfast foods.
9A. You are not, in fact, stronger than that 1/2 ton animal; you will have to outsmart it.
9B. You are not, in fact, smarter than that 1/2 ton animal; you will have to get this stick.
10. All species agree: cereal is delicious.

Monday, May 12, 2008

10 Things you learn to appreciate when you can find them in Morocco

1. The one two punch of a toilet with a coresponding wipping method. A squat toilet with a bucket/toilet paper or a sit down toilet with TP. You don't know how rare this is until you've tried the splash method on a Western style toilet.

2. Ice. Two months, one ice cube that magically appeared in someone's cocktail in the refrigerator-less town of Imsouane.

3. Male companions. As much as we hate to admit it- an escort is a welcome break from the gauntlet of "bon jour les gazelles"that doubtlessly waited for us on the walk home.

4. A hot shower. We took one in all of Morocco and it cost us two dollars and took an hour and a half. This is not to suggest that we haven't gotten very efficient with a cold bucket.

5. Coke. One Swiss guy called it America's best invention. Nothing like cold sugar water for a break from the hot sugar water that they call tea. Beware- some are home brewed in bathtubs and poured into empty glass bottles.

6.Insh Allah. "God Willing," a country wide excuse to get out of all undesirable rendezvous, potential plans and unexciting obligations. "Wanna come into my shop and have tea tomorrow?" "Insh Allah."

7. Octopus. Delicious, slimy, tentically octupus. To be found under a rock at low tide by a good-looking Bereber man armed with a rusted iron rod. Then fried in spices by the sweet old Bereber who owns the cafe and to be consumed until you can't possibly eat anymore. Seriously, when is the next time you are going to be able to pull on octopus out of the ocean, spill sepia all over your hands and then devour it piece by delicious piece no more than 30 minutes after it was hiding under a rock.

8. Trannies. I mean...Transies. These gutted buses are like those vehicles they use at home to transport large amounts of marijuana or Mexicans, or both. Still, when you come across them you leap for joy as you know you will be charged the same price as everyone else to get to the next town on that uncomfortable wooden bench bolted to the floor (if you're lucky). The good news about a transie especially is that old-town rules apply so that women MUST sit next to women unless they are accompanied by male escort (read: family member). The chances thus of being masturbated next to en route are somewhat mitigated (however, see #9).

9. Consanguinity. Ok, so still not for us, but it's definitely a practice thriving in Morocco. What does one do when one cannot leave the house without male family member and does not talk to other males for all of one's life. Well, one marries in the family of course. When asking our companions in Zagorra where they met their wives both answered with nonchalance, "She's in my family."

10. American men. Wow, we never thought we'd say this, but if there is anyone who is not going to think of you either as their mother or as their whore it's American men. We think you respect us, but even if you don't, at least you are a little afraid of us. (And thank you to Peace Corps Shawn for offering this brief but absolutely necessary respite from Moroccan males).

We loved Morocco dearly and absolutely plan to return to the richly cultural south and mountains that we missed on our first journey there. However, there is only so much that one can take, so after two months we decided to buy a ticket to a place where coffee and chocolate come from actual beans and the wine is for drinking. Barcelona is a little upscale for us, but two weeks on a farm should adjust us quite well. Cuidase!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Ok, so it's a little late, and a little crooked, but it's Happy Birthday, ON A CAMEL!

Everyone please wish my favorite brother a Big Fat Fogey Golden Birthday